How to Prepare Your Child Emotionally for Their First Day of School. Tips from our Speech Pathologists and Occupational Therapists in Bondi Junction and Mascot.
The first day of school is a huge milestone in your child’s life, especially if they have higher support needs such as autism or developmental delays. The transition from home or preschool to the structured environment of school can cause anxiety and uncertainty. Emotional preparation is key to helping your child feel calm, confident, and ready for this new chapter.
In this blog, we’ll explore emotional development expectations for five-year-olds, why children might feel anxious before starting school, and why it can be even more challenging for children with autism or developmental delays. We’ll also provide practical tips to help your child prepare emotionally, including the use of social stories, visual schedules, school orientations, and other strategies that can help ease the transition.
Emotional Development Expectations at Five Years Old
By the age of five, children are rapidly developing emotional and social skills. They are starting to recognise and manage their own feelings, while also beginning to understand the emotions of others. Many children can express a wide range of emotions, such as happiness, frustration, and excitement, and are learning how to communicate these feelings appropriately. However, they still need plenty of guidance and reassurance in situations that are unfamiliar or overwhelming—like starting school.
At this age, children often:
- Crave routine and predictability for security.
- Seek approval from trusted adults and want to please.
- Struggle with big changes, such as starting school, because they have less control over their environment.
- Need support in managing anxiety or separation worries.
For children with autism or developmental delays, these challenges can be heightened. Difficulties with communication, sensory sensitivities, or understanding social cues can make the transition to school more daunting.
Why Children Get Anxious Before Starting School
Feeling anxious before starting school is very common, and it’s natural for children to feel nervous about such a big change. Here are some common reasons why children may feel anxious:
- Fear of the unknown: School is an entirely new environment for many children, and they may feel unsure about what will happen there, who they will meet, and what will be expected of them.
- Separation from parents: For children who are used to spending most of their time at home, the thought of being separated from their parents for long periods can be stressful.
- Change in routine: Children who thrive on routine may feel unsettled by the new schedule and activities that school brings.
Children with autism or developmental delays may find the transition to school particularly overwhelming due to:
- Sensory challenges: Bright lights, loud noises, and busy environments can feel overstimulating.
- Difficulty with change: Many children with autism rely on routine and familiarity, making big transitions like starting school more difficult.
- Communication struggles: If your child finds it difficult to express their needs or communicate with new people, school can seem even more intimidating.
How to Emotionally Prepare Your Child for School
The key to reducing anxiety and helping your child feel emotionally ready for school is preparation. Here are some practical steps you can take:
1. Use Social Stories
Social stories are a fantastic tool to help children with autism or developmental delays understand what to expect. These simple, personalised narratives explain specific situations, like starting school, in a clear and reassuring way.
For school, create a social story that walks your child through their typical school day, including details such as:
- Waking up in the morning and getting dressed in their school uniform.
- Arriving at school, finding their classroom, and meeting their teacher.
- What activities they’ll do during the day, such as playtime, storytime, and lunch.
- Who will pick them up at the end of the day.
Use photos or illustrations of the school, classroom, and teacher to help make the story relatable. Read the social story with your child every day in the lead-up to school to help familiarise them with what to expect.
2. Introduce a Visual Schedule
Children with autism or developmental delays often benefit from visual schedules. These schedules help them understand the sequence of events in their day and reduce anxiety by providing a predictable routine.
Create a visual schedule that reflects the school day, including key activities like:
- Getting dressed and eating breakfast.
- Going to school.
- Classroom activities, playtime, and lunchtime.
- Coming home and relaxing after school.
Start using the visual schedule at least two weeks before school begins. This gives your child time to get used to the routine and feel more confident about the structure of the school day.
3. Start a School-Like Routine Early
Children with higher support needs often rely on routine for a sense of security. You can help your child adjust to the school day by gradually introducing a school-like routine at home at least two weeks before school starts.
- Morning routine: Begin waking your child at the same time they’ll need to wake up for school. Include all the morning activities they’ll need to complete, such as eating breakfast, getting dressed in their school uniform, and brushing their teeth.
- Meal times: Try to schedule snack and lunchtime at home to match the school’s timetable.
- Consistent bedtime: Ensure your child is well-rested by following a consistent bedtime routine. Good sleep is vital for helping them manage the excitement and challenges of the first few days at school.
4. Get Them Used to Wearing School Uniforms
Many children, especially those with sensory sensitivities, may struggle with wearing a new school uniform. Introduce the uniform gradually by having your child wear it at home for short periods in the weeks before school starts.
Let your child wear the uniform while engaging in a favourite activity, like reading a book or playing with a toy. This helps them associate the uniform with positive experiences, making them feel more comfortable when they wear it on their first day of school.
5. Set Clear Expectations About Pickup
One of the biggest sources of anxiety for children starting school is uncertainty about who will pick them up and when. Reduce this anxiety by clearly explaining the pickup routine to your child.
- Let them know exactly who will collect them from school.
- If possible, visit the school together and show them where you’ll meet after school.
- Use a visual cue or countdown chart at home to show how many days are left until school starts.
Providing this clear expectation helps your child feel more secure and gives them something familiar to look forward to at the end of the day.
6. Role-Play School Scenarios
Role-playing is a great way to prepare your child for school situations they might encounter. You can pretend to be the teacher and practice common activities like:
- Sitting quietly during storytime.
- Asking the teacher for help.
- Saying “hello” to classmates and playing together.
Practicing these scenarios in a fun, low-pressure way helps build your child’s confidence in handling social situations at school.
7. Talk About Feelings
Children often feel a range of emotions—excitement, fear, nervousness—before starting school. Help your child understand and express their feelings by talking openly about their emotions. You could say things like, “It’s okay to feel nervous about school. I felt a bit scared on my first day too, but I made friends and had fun.”
Acknowledging their feelings and reassuring them that it’s normal to feel a bit nervous helps your child feel supported and understood.
8. Attend School Orientations
Many schools hold orientations in the term before school starts. These sessions are designed to help children become familiar with the school environment, meet their teachers, and connect with future classmates. Make sure to attend these orientations with your child.
Additionally, driving past the school or attending school events before the term starts can help your child feel more familiar with the setting. Some schools hold open days, holiday fairs, or welcome events for incoming students. These experiences allow your child to get comfortable with the school surroundings before the first day.
Conclusion about Emotionally Preparing Your Child For School
Starting school is a big step for any child, but for children with higher support needs, it can feel even more overwhelming. By preparing your child emotionally through social stories, visual schedules, school orientations, and gradual exposure to routines, you can help them feel confident and ready for this new chapter.
At OneOnOne Children’s Therapy, we specialise in supporting children with autism and developmental delays through Speech Pathology, Occupational Therapy, and the Early Start Denver Model (ESDM). Our dedicated team in Bondi Junction and Mascot are here to help your child succeed emotionally and academically. Our Speech Pathologists are members of Speech Pathology Australia. Out OT’s are members of AHPRA.
If you need further support or guidance on preparing your child for school, contact us at (02) 80657837 or email us to book a consultation. Let’s work together to make your child’s transition to school as smooth as possible.
